10 dad jokes that you haven't heard before

Welcome to the world of parenting!

Here at phil&teds, we know it’s a crazy world that you need to adapt & survive. We want to set you up in the best stead, so whether you are a mum or a dad, here is a little something to start your joke collection off with a bang! 10 new dad jokes to pepper through your daily conversation - to make sure you are always on fire!

Photo credit: @fish.hike.eat

So, a true dad joke starts with the delivery (as you’re not a dad until the baby is delivered!). The key to delivering a high quality dad joke is the long pause, with a goofy expectant look on your face, or repeatedly saying “geddit, geddit, geddit?!” afterwards. You know you have truly nailed it when you yourself are on the ground laughing... Your audience probably wont be doing the same - they will be so overwhelmed by the glorious nature of the joke that they won't be able to outwardly express it. Their reaction will probably look something like this, this means you have truly won. They are so truly impressed with how funny you are they can barely move - congratulations!

Here are 10 dad jokes to get you started:

Why is honey good for you? -It's full of Bee vitamins.
Why does it take a pirate so long to learn the alphabet? -Because he spends years at C! (this one will really throw them as they will generally say R, it’s the elusive double joke!)
Did you hear about the lion that ate his friends? -He had to swallow his pride.
What do you call someone with no body or nose? -Nobody nose.
Here is a classic: I’ll call you later -“Don't call me later, call me dad” - this will get them everytime!
What do you call a pony with a sore throat? -A little horse.
I can’t help it, I like telling dad jokes. -Sometimes he laughs.
Why can no man starve in the Great Desert of Sahara? -Because of the sand-which-is there. - ba dum tissss!
What do you call a carnivorous weather person? -A meat-eater-ologist.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? -A fsssssssh

And one last one for good luck…

Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? -There was nothing left but de Brie! Go forth hilarious parents, and make the world groan!